So, do you live for the sake of someone else (ie. others), or do you
live for yourself?
I usually like to think I understand my answer to this deceptively simple-sounding question, but because of the earthquake/tsunami disaster stuff up North, I’ve been doing an excessive amount of thinking recently. Some of my musings on this topic are contained here, and hopefully they aren’t all that rambling.
So first of all, I am, at my core, part gamer. I say this warily because I know that I don’t rank up there with the masters at Street Fighter, Tetris, Super Mario etc, nor would I claim much in the way of skill. I do, however, claim passion and experience. Also, the previously mentioned game’s are probably beside the point, because I usually indulge in the solitary RPG or adventure type games.
Well, despite the traumatic situation in maybe a fifth(probably less) of Japan, here in Hiroshima you’d think nothing was happening. Life goes around me as normal. I went out and did darts on Saturday. I even played Border Break: Air Burst for about an hour. (Tangent: Border Break is one of those hardcore games you find at an arcade that only the serious gamer can even understand the basic controls.) Then I got to wondering; isn’t it interesting how we spend our limited time on this planet so frivolously?
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t going to turn into some sort of kudaranai (worthless) discussion on how evil video games are or some other rubbish like that. Video games are at the end of the day, a form of entertainment like any other that is probably best done in moderation.
Logical Tangent Alert: Of course, given my usual tendency to head butt new obstacles after hitting the ground with both feet running, moderation is from my perspective something best done in moderation… as they say “moderation in all things” (most people just forget that moderation just happens to be a thing too.)
Keeping this in mind, entertainment is usually best done in moderation for another reason. Moderation of gaming makes it sweeter; treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet and it just grows bland. Varying opinions abound, I'm sure.
But I digress.
On a more broad scale, I am simply wondering why we, humans, aren’t always doing something of external value. External value benefits more than just ourselves and even usually has a limited "lasting factor." However, I suppose that answer is that many of us just turn inwards and become selfish creatures. Which I suppose then brings up the dilemma of "is this a good thing?" Being selfish is, of course, not a good thing, but “me time” or doing things for yourself becomes a vague category and is in fact probably a necessity for most.
So how does this fit into the seemingly bipolar atmosphere in my life at the moment? A place, on the opposite end of the island that is Honshu, is in possibly the worst state it has ever been, period, but life goes on as normal where I am. In fact, the number of people commuting to Nagarekawa (the nightly party district for Hiroshima) and the arcades (why do you think I know?) doesn’t even seem to have taken
a hit.
On a more personally social level, I’ve even noticed that I’ve put up a shell around me that makes it look like I’m going about my normal life, but I feel like there is
this itch on my heart that I can’t hope to scratch. I even find myself pondering “what if’s” like “if only I lived closer to the recent events perhaps I could be volunteering and be useful. Then again, would I just get in the way?” Perhaps you aren’t thinking this way, but I am.
(READ CAREFULLY)
Not that I’m not doing it, but I feel like donating would be just throwing money in that direction. While donating is a very good thing indeed and I recommend you do it, it just makes me feel like I’m trying to clear my own conscience and walk away from my worries. It’s a start, but insufficient to alleviate my desire to help. I want to get my hands dirty so to speak.
Then it hit me. I’m pondering this because it is my personality to prefer to be in a position where I am helping people, enriching other people’s lives, or I suppose (gasp) teaching.
Tangent: I have trouble thinking of myself as a good mass educator. I just want you aware of one thing; I have my own philosophies concerning education and growth that put me in opposition to most public education systems… despite the fact that I work in one. This doesn't prevent me from doing my job, or doing it well for that matter. I just prefer to do what I can for my students real learning.
Anyway, back to the personal me:
I prefer to be actively learning either on my own or by helping others…which is probably why I switched more than half of my entertainment forms into Japanese. Initially, dictionary at my side, I couldn’t proceed a few clicks in a game without looking up a myriad of unknown vocabulary and kanji. Now, the issue is just speed of
understanding and the occasional particularly tough or specialized vocabulary that involves some guesswork or a Japanese-Japanese dictionary to understand. Movies that lack subtitles make this guesswork very difficult sometimes.
So, having attempted to follow the advice of the Oracle at Delphi (Know thyself) I turned the questioning beyond myself. Thinking about it, I realized that I obviously can’t put myself literally into the mind of another, but I can mentally peruse the possibilities that I would usually only perceive if my I chose to go off some sort of self imposed “deep end.”
Therefore I came up with this situation; what would happen if my gaming interest went off the deep end again like it did for three months in high school? What sort of mental positioning would I have to do to prevent the cognitive dissonance at that time and extend that situation out into the rest of my days? (Not a goal by the way)
I looked around, in my minds eye, and I thought, well, the Otaku category of people in Japan is a unique example. Or perhaps even the pachinko gamblers. Ignoring the ones, of course, that have a social life, family etc by having properly balanced the real world and their entertainment form. What I find that I am puzzled by are the
people who fall into addiction and burn out their entire lives on their solitary passion. I would have to descend into a tier 6 depression in order to potentially move in that direction. Or in other words, I think the thing most necessary for me to have such a single-minded selfish passion would be a total paradigm shift.
I would have to come to believe that I was the most significant individual on Earth. After all, how else could I justify that kind of use of time, talent and treasure to myself? Perhaps, I would even have to sincerely come to believe that “ignorance is bliss” so that I could ignore the rest of the world and go on day by day with my selfish pursuits. I know I would have to find a way to shut down my cognitive
dissonance antennae because my current standards of value wouldn’t allow for such waste...
So my answer to my initial question in its most simplistic and enigmatic form is “yes.” You live for yourself by living for others. Factoring in that personalities vary along a plane of extroverts and introverts, what this means is that you don’t ignore your own entertainment time but instead that you take your personal entertainment in appropriate doses, and you never let it take priority over friends, family, work and other “real” responsibilities.
In concluding, by means of me trying to pull this wandering mess of a blog post together, I do have a point to make. And well I know it is completely cliche to bring up matters of how dire situations really test our mettle, I must say that I hope this situation in Japan is finding you NOT panicking but gaining new knowledge and learning what you can do for your fellowmen.
Now, let’s see how well I can live out my own thoughts. Wish me luck.
(BTW, this was written between the 13th and 15th of March 2011, while I was having some down time at work. The great earthquake in Japan was on the 11th.)
PS.. if even one of you gets on my case for saying "fellowmen" and bringing up that PC nonsense... I will write you a blog post on why PC is for those with closed minds and an inability to think. Why? Because you obviously didn't get the point of my post. Get your priorities straight. So there.
