Of Hearts and Keys

Over time it would seem my own little obsessions with symbolism evolve and change.
自分の象徴の好みは時間と同時変わっていくんだそうだ。

When I was first studying Japanese, Kanji fascinated my mind. The more complex the better. If the Kanji was simple too, I liked it. The kanji for water even 水 still fascinates me with its simple beauty. Kanji that were semi-complex and normal were somewhat boring to me though. They were just too abstract and everbody already expected me to have to learn them.
最初の日本語を勉強して始まった時漢字は僕に悩殺された。　もっと複雑のほうはもっとよかった。　　でもその漢字は単純でも好きだった。　水は今までその漢字の単純な美しさは僕のこころを捕らえている。　　もしある漢字は普通とちょっとだけ複雑だったらあまり面白くなかったと思ってしまった。　意味は抽象的しすぎて勉強するのは当然だったしです。

黎明, imagine that. This kanji is still probably among my top. The first Kanji is an uncommon Kanji for black. That makes it special to me since my favorite color is black. These two Kanji together represent a transition from darkness to light. A movement both used to refer to incunabulum (post-enlightenment) and the simple dawn. When I came to understand this Kanji, I came to understand hope.

黎明はね、多分まだ一番好きな漢字の言葉だ。　黎はくろという意味を示している。　黒は僕の一番好きな色だからこの漢字は特別になっちゃった。　この言葉は闇から光までの意味を示している。　　夜明けという意味くらいだけど啓もう運動とも含まれた。　この漢字のために希望が納得できたと思う。

悪魔, yes, I liked these kanji. Why? Simply because no one would expect someone who could barely mumble out sentences in Japanese to be able to write this word. Ayako, thank goodness, put up with me and did some wicked awesome calligraphy that I still have in my room. The little orange poster translates to "That person (way over there) is a demon."
悪魔、はい、この漢字が好きだった。　なぜなの？　この漢字が書ける日本語を勉強しているアメリカ人は少ないからと思った。　　あやこは作ってくれた書道はこの漢字にも含まれた。　まだ部屋で貼っているけど書いてあった事は「あいつは悪魔」だ。

薔薇、yes I can write these kanji, don't ask. Unlike the Kanji, Roses are simple. They have natural beauty and much meaning. However, like a girl, handle them wrong and expect to get stung. These kanji taught me that kusakanmuri nearly always meant the Kanji was related to a plant.
薔薇、うん、書けます。　この漢字と反対だけど本当の薔薇は単純。　自然な美しさと沢山の意味がある。　でも　女のように間違えって扱ったらさされちゃう。　　薔薇の漢字に勉強させた事は漢字は草冠があったらその漢字は植物と関係がある。

堀鼠 or pocket gopher. You guys wanted to know why my facebook is a gopher on facebook? There is a long story, but basically it goes like this. I drove some friends crazy one year by using the English word "gopher" as a catchphrase. Then it just came to represent to me. To some friends, all I have to mention is "gopher," and they remember who I am. So, I just had to know how to write it in Kanji.
掘り鼠　ホリネズミ、針鼠と異なっている。　　僕のフェースブークを見たのか。　僕の写真は掘り鼠だ。　ゴーファーは僕とちょっと長い付き合いということだ。　高校の時代で友達をからかうためにゴーファーと何回も言った。　僕の象徴となってしまった。　　ある友達にはゴーファーだけを言ったら僕は誰だということを早くおもいだすんだ。　　だからゴーファーを日本語の漢字で書きたかった。

「ごめん、寝たいからここまでの日本語バージョンだけをやってきた。　後で全部やるかもしれないけどとりあえずこのままには貼る。」

Heart Strings. I made a desktop wallpaper with this subtitle in High school. It is still the backdrop for my laptop too. I've always had this image of the heart as a bundle of strings that can be stripped away and torn without permanent damage. The heart however is the most difficult thing to unravel so I treasure this image. This image is connected with two songs for me. Yuki Kajiura's Open your Heart and the Reprise. If I ever need a pick-me-up, those two songs never let me down.

Now, because of my time in Japan, two symbols come to mind.
命 and 鍵

命 was the kanji for the year I was in Japan. Of course, a certain Japanese comedian capitalized on this, but I'm not complaining. The popularity of "inochi" allowed me to get T-shirts with this kanji on it. I see life as a precious fundamental. Since my first name means guardian, I also take the defense of life as important.

鍵 or key. As long as I can remember keys always represented so much to me. They open things. In my case they also close things away into my heart and memories.

However, they are now inimately connected to my time in Japan. The last day I was in Japan, I bought myself a key on a necklace(Thanks Asami for that help!). Now, everytime I see that key, I vividly remember my last days in Japan and sometimes I nearly cry from the memories.

That necklace also gives me an area to focus my partings. I try and wear it whenever I must part with someone, even if it is for a short time. This has been important for my mental health because I'll never get used to saying farewell to all the international students I've known over the years.

月 I suppose you are wondering why anyone would like this Kanji. It's so common. However, if you've seen my notebooks over the years, you'd know why though. The kanji 命 placed over a fading gray moon is my personal symbol. The moon possesses a mystique few can understand, and is one's light in the darkness. Putting the Kanji for life in it, only emphasizes this understanding.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that. ^_^