O_O Whe?

Okay, let me pad this story by noting that I normally dismiss odd reactions by Japanese people as simply my imagination. I know Gaijin-panic happens from time to time, but it is certainly not the norm.... at least I haven't encountered it with the younger generation at all.

(Gaijin = Slang for foreigner. Rather rude word pointed towards those who are not-Japanese)
Anyway, keep that in mind.

So, I leave to go to the eki this morning from my home apartment. You know, somehow I had to get to the place where I was taking the JLPT, right? Well, I was feeling chipper this morning so I decided to jog down the street until I had to turn to head to the station. Since I hadn't been to this particular eki before, I looked at my map and counted the street lights until that turn. The number was nine. With that in mind, I took off jogging.

Well, I make my way easily down the street with little obstruction from red lights, except one and that bothers me. At about the fifth light or so, I look down the street to kinda see if I needed to pick up speed or not to avoid stopping at any other lights. Y'know, I'd prefer to continue moving if I can avoid stopping. Red lights have definitely become one of my pet peeves. Up ahead, I see this old obachan dressed completely in black trundling away down the sidewalk. She's somewhere between a block and a half and two blocks away from me at the time. This is where it got surreal for me

The old lady turns and glances back in my direction. I avoid eye contact like I usually do with people that I don't know. It's a habit I think I've picked up in Japan. If someone is staring I try not to care because I 'd rather not create a confrontation. However, she turns her head back towards the light up ahead. For half a second all is normal, when suddenly she flings her arms in the air, and I kid you not, takes off in a full arm flail run. While trying not to flinch, I'm meanwhile still jogging.

Looking on at the strange behavior, I try to convince myself that she is just running to catch the next light. I mean, the timing is sorta right because I know I'm going to barely make it while it is still green. Therefore she should definitely make it. By now, I'm close to a block away, and I figure I'll be able to pass her if I make the light too. Bad idea, but I keep jogging.

She makes it across the street. In other words, she makes the light. However, she keeps going in full arm flail run. Something she shouldn't be doing if she was just trying to make the light. I hoping against hope, I'm not somehow the cause of this scene. All of a sudden a half a block away from the light and me, she stops and glances back. This time, for just an instant, she was clearly staring at me. While stamping her left foot hard, she clasps her hands together and forcefully does an odd stretching motion twice in the direction away from me. I'm meanwhile still jogging.

In fact, I wonder why I'm still jogging. Should I stop? Should go a different way? Is it even safe to pass her? I decide I'm dealing with a weirdo but refuse to stop anyway. I mean she's only an obachan right? She probably can't even catch me. So, I simply tighten my resolve and decide to not even so much as look in her direction. I think that looking at her again might just set her off. As I pass her though, that is exactly what happens. Out of the corner of my eye, I can tell she's blatantly staring at me and stamping her foot. Then she barks something out as I go jogging past.

Sadly, I have no clue what she said, but it was short so one word, possibly two. It even might even simply have been “Gaijin.” I didn't stop, so I don't know exactly. Her voice was really creepy though; I would dare say she sounded like her throat was full of phlegm or her mouth full of spit. The instant so caught me off guard that I felt two conflicting emotions in reaction to her utterance. One was a cold chill up my spine, and the other was an intense desire to turn her attitude back on her. Meaning, I thought of stopping, bowing and then apologizing for my existence because that was apparently what she was having a problem with. Instead, I just kept jogging.

I didn't look back. I took my turn. I got picked up by a friend at the eki. I took my test. Truly, the day was otherwise uneventful.

What are your thoughts? To nip one thought in the bud: no she was not just clearing her throat. The timing was too perfect and I know I heard language, just what I don't know. ^_^

Miyajima Escapade

.. Random, besides some minor editing, I typed this all on my phone. ^_^

Well, I'm on the train to Miyajima guchi at the moment. I boarded the 1620 train so I will barely make it for sunset which is at 1645. Why? The train arrives at 1646, and I will still have to take the ferry to Miyajima which won't be departing until 1655. Needless to say I'm being pretty stupid, but this beats cabin fever.
Even only a glimpse of Miyajima at sunset should be enough to satiate my curiosity. Also, I probably won't take the ferry today but will hit the gift shop before taking the inner city train back to hondori perhaps.
So why do I have cabin fever you ask? I haven't left my apartment/room all day until this little venture. I got really behind because of a six day work week and a stressful open class research experience. Truly though, the six day work week wasn't all that bad. The research class was a total brain buster though.

Ooh.
I thought of something. The sunset time that I have is for Tokyo, so I might make it for Hiroshima's Miyajima.
Nope, nevermind. Already, it is too late. Time1701

Time:1818
About to eat Okonomiyaki at a place close to the ferry. I did after all decide to go to Miyajima. It was a totally awesome decision too. Miyajima, of course, hasn't changed a bit. The deer are still crazy for example.
So, unfortunately my Okonomiyaki was not the best I've had. You might actually say that it was subpar since it cost 890en. Before I had Okonomiyaki for about 500 en with one of the teachers. Now that was some good Okonomiyaki.
At Miyajima this time, I also had chuhai Ramune which I found by accident at one of the stores. Chuhai basically means it has alchohol in it. Oh! I also bought something as an omiyage for one of my ESS groups. The omiyage is basically momiji manjuu made into senbei (rice cracker). I hope it is a positive experience.
I also bought a bunch of unusual momiji manjuu. It all started when I found a black momiji manjuu that wasn't chocolate. So going from memory, I bought black sesame, lemon, brandy, yuzu, green tea, and red sweet potato manjuus. I'll assume they are all good and just let you know later if any were bad.

Note: I like Yuzu, but yuzu doesn't go well in momiji majuu.

The Secret Code of Vocations?

Basically, this is the one and really only part that I am able to take away positively from the Japanese book that I'm reading. You know, the one called “天命の暗号.” I've determined that it is a self-help book for those who are castaways in the sea of life.

So, anyway, the important part is as follows. We each have different ways we interact with people, right? The author of this book has broken up the way we deal with people into four categories. We all possess these four categories and utilize them in varying degrees. However, we likely have one, or possibly two, in which we are very strong. More importantly, these different categories, or focuses, effect the way we listen to what other people say. Basically, I think this part is important because in understanding this part of yourself, you can better widen your horizon and learn to understand why some people react to you negatively/positively.

I'll try to summarize in brief on what this guy spent a couple chapters.

達成的 – Achievement oriented
Focus is obviously on the end. Characterized by evaluating people's accomplishments and victories in comparison with your own activities. Emphasis is on thoughts like “I could do that” or “That is impossible for me.” You burn with a passion likely based in a blind ambition towards the end point, and things are divided into two groups black and white The goal is the main point.

親和的 – Friendship oriented
The focus is on friends. You base your movements on your group, and often think in terms of your friends. “My friends are doing it,” or “Lets do it together.” Easily the least selfish kind of orientation, but also the most spineless. You either have a group of friends or you are toast if you are fully of this orientation because you draw your power from those around you.

献身的 – Devotion oriented
This one is kind of based on your friends as well. The difference is that you prefer to do 1-1 interactions and are probably prone to dominating said one on one conversation. You even prefer one on one interactions with your enemies. You think things like “If it will help to make him/her happy” or “I'll do it for justice's sake.” Basically, you value loyalty to individuals above anything else.

評価的 – Evaluation oriented
This one is basically your philosopher factor. You interact with people for the sake of shaking down truth. You carefully think about things before doing them, and even then really fear messing up. I think this one would be “I'm the kind of guy that would laugh at a funeral, can you understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.” You look at events based on whether they are interesting or not and you likely come across as KY or cold.

Really, I don't know where I fall in these categories. When I was younger I was definitely mainly devotion type, but then I went through high school and was mainly friendship oriented (still kind of am). College, I was, by necessity, mostly Achievement orientated. Now, I am likely mostly Evaluation orientated. Not sure. I do still tend to think in terms of “is that something I could accomplish or not.”

For those of you that are visual, Visuals!
図１９ 達成的 – Achievement oriented


















図２０ 親和的 – Friendship oriented


















図２１ 献身的 – Devotion oriented


















図２２ 評価的 – Evaluation oriented


















Anyway, as you can imagine, certain types don't get along with other types as well as they could. I don't have the book in front of me anymore, so I can't check what they were. I think you can imagine though that a very strongly Evaluation type person would be very jarring for a strong Devotion type person. The devotion type would see the Evaluation type as cold and unfeeling, whereas the Evaluation type would see the Devotional type as excessively peaceable.

Finally, which type you are strongly effects how you interpret/hear what other people tell you. I think perhaps if I look into it more closely, I might be able to understand some reasons for past miscommunications.

While, I hope this helps you in some way.

PS... I just realized that I typed this all up without saving once... that was gutsy

. ... no naku koro ni.

An analysis of a series you need not read.

Before I start this conversation you need to be warned, I am writing about the mechanizations behind writing horror, so if that bothers you, stop now.

Higurashi no naku koro ni
when the red cicada cries.
Higurashi is a type of Japanese cicada typified by its rusty red coloring. Also, naku is actually closer to the meaning of “cries,” but in English we don't usually say “the cry of the cicada.” However, the translation loses its coolness when translated as buzzes. Don't you agree?

There is a methodology to the horror like madness of this series that I see as a good step in the right direction for writing a despair novel. This series does seem to leave a little bit of hope for the readers in the end, but I think that is the failing point. Actually, I shouldn't complain, if things like the ring and the grudge bothered you, the ending will bother you a lot. It just was too subtle for me.

First, I must explain a bit about the story. There are always two volumes to each section in the story. The first is, I think, the most important, but the second is where all the action and gut-wrenching imagery is. Third and most importantly, high schoolers in Japan seem to be reading this series because I've noticed in my schools libraries.

In the first volume, you are introduced to a character and to a town with a generally peaceful type feeling. Always, I would assume that this will involve an transfer student because otherwise the character would have to be aware of the history around the place. In most cases, that history is only given in broken pieces in the first volume. At first, you only might learn that there is a temple nearby with a certain kami enshrined there. There isn't any mention of the curse... just yet.

The main purpose of that first volume is to show you the main character getting along, to display him having tension with other opposite gender classmates, and to make you endeared to the characters in general. They'll have their cute interactions, their cute reactions, and furthermore cutesy love tension that isn't too likely to go anywhere anyway. They make you feel that this is story is going to consist of normal day in and day out life.

After you've become accustomed to reading about the peaceful and entertaining life of these students, you enter into the sphere of the second volume with a slight odd twinge. The last part, possibly in all the first volume books, jars you just enough to get your attention. A character simply does something that is odd, and then passes it off with some sort of excuse later. In the case of the one that I read, a certain very sweet character's eyes glowed and she spoke in a unearthly tone. The advice given in that tone was vague enough as to possibly only pertain to some sort of near-love squabble so that you, the reader, will be jarred but be able to dismiss it.

Then volume 2 starts. Everything goes to heck. The strange occurance in volume was just the beginning, and your character enjoys one jarring experience to the next. A masturi and a appeasing of the local kami occurs and because of the proximity to that place your character gets hints about an odd history. Finally, just when it is too late, an explanation of the curse is explained with perhaps a minor detail left out.. You are sure you have been given every detail and that the main character might be able to do something. Then people start dying. Gruesome horribly twisted deaths occur right before your main characters eyes. A character claws his own throat out, another character lights herself on fire in a barrel, and some character gets pounded to death. More importantly, somebody just vanishes.

However, the thing that makes them so twisted is that these deaths involve mostly the very characters you have come to think of as normal and sweet. Instead of being sweet now, they are terrified, being attacked, vanishing, going nuts, killing eachother, trying to kill the main character, or being possessed by an oni. Finally, in the end, just when you think the main character is also actually going to die, he somehow remains alive. An explanation, half-baked at best, is given and the story seems to be wrapping up.

In the case of the one I read, the main character is alive recovering in a hospital, but after everyone leaves the room and the detective is done making his point, he sits silently on his hospital bed. The next page has the same picture, but there is a shadowey hand on the corner of the bedspread. The page after that, shows more of a figure with the neck twisted sideways, rotting-like face wrinkles, gangly hair, and hollow eyes like a skull. The final page shows a full view of the things face, and now it looks somewhat like a familiar character and the words that are written there are very broken, scratchy and creepy looking. They say “I've come for you....”

My thought is that a lot of these elements are quite useful in composing a fictitious horror story, and I will possibly weave some of them into a legend that I started some time ago which I call “Skelchin.” That's all.

Nothing happens without meaning.... 意味がないことは起こらない？

Nothing happens without meaning.... 意味がないことは起こらない？

Beware: Philosophical thought to follow... 哲学的な話なんだけど。。。

In Japanese, I might just say this line or basis for moving forward is just 素敵 or “Wonderful.” Belief in this sort of simple line of thought, impresses significance on every little factor of the day. One starts to look for coincidences, fate, and purpose in all things when they have this as part of their worldview. It gives one a vague reason to march forward without hesitance, confident that one's actions and living have purpose. However, the complication that arises, as with all philosophical pursuits, is truth.

Does everything that happens have meaning? I mean truly, does it? Is this thought “true”? From my viewpoint, the answer is “of course.” However, I would addend that answer with the slight warning that you may never know what that meaning is. I suppose you could say that is a convenient supposition as well, but I'm not naive. While I hold the belief that all things happen for a purpose, I do not hold the belief that I will be omnisciently aware of what those little purposes are.

Regrettably, my fiat doesn't answer the philosophical question which is most nearly, “What proof can you offer to satiate our curiosity of how this could possibly be?” At this point, I think the typical person would offer you a myriad of little things that have come to have significance over time which would likely be vague enough that they could be quibbled with individually. However, such a response doesn't even come close to the heart of the matter, because there is a complication herein: I have stated belief in an absolute.

Yes, for those of you panicking philosopher-types, I did just interject “belief” into the realm of “philosophy.” It is where it rightly belongs. The only reason one has faith (did you catch the word reason???) is because they have found it reasonably justifiable. If not, they are simply being a liar to themselves and have violated the first step towards reason/philosophy anyway. They lack the brutal honesty necessary to proceed and are living a lie. I suppose you could say that is harsh, but as the saying goes, “Truth hurts” because truth is the simple, the pure, the impartial, and the uncompromisable reality. Denial of truth, eventually leads to a point in time where you run headlong into it.

Allow me a moment to flip the coin around and rise from the previous “tails” equation towards the hidden “heads” equation. The only reason one philosophizes is because of a faith in philosophy. After all, one must have confidence in the tools of his/her craft before picking them up. Anyone, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Hinduism, etc I think can agree with this line of thought. Actually, if one doesn't, then therein lies a belief that philosophy is in some way lacking. However, ironically, such a belief is still a belief. It is a belief that is simply based in bad philosophy. I don't think that is a spiral from which one can escape. You either have a good belief(view) of philosophy(reason) or you don't, but you still have a belief.

Now, I must return to the matter of an absolute. An absolute, being as it is, is nigh impossible to satisfactually prove to someone predisposed against it. It is simply impossible to span all the situations where an absolute covers, and that will inherently leave doubt in the other philosopher's mind. A proposed absolute is best approached from a pragmatic perspective, especially in the case where proving or unproving becomes a simple matter of faith.
Take the one that we are dealing with here:
Nothing happens without a meaning.
What is meant by that statement? I think it means that everything, no matter how small or large, has significance or purpose either to ourselves or to those around us. Essentially, everything gains value.
Short of going through everything in my life and attempting to explain what meaning each individual thing has, I think the doubting Thomas-types will never be satisfied.
Therefore, I propose a pragmatic perspective.
Either this belief helps you in this life or it doesn't. If it doesn't help you, don't hold it. If it does help you, hold it. Personally, I believe that holding it, gives one a more beautiful perspective on life. No longer does the rain falling simply mean you have to carry an umbrella that day. Instead, it is day where someone, somewhere, or perhaps something, needed that downpour. Right?

Yes and no. There is a further reason for people to reject this sort of belief. Psychologically it is helpful, yes I believe that is hard to deny. However, a simple pragmatic perspective for life should never satisfy the truth-seeker. Again, we return to the issue of an absolute being true. Wait, before you say something trite like “never use absolutes.” please use that noggin of yours. “Never” is indicative of an absolute and, therefore, such a statement contradicts itself. It would be far more correct to express an issue with a specific absolute than to attack them, ahem, absolutely.

I then, run up against a wall. I do believe that all things happen with a purpose, but not because I have reasoned it into existence. Instead, it is something more so based in experience which is always something far more difficult to explain. The best I can do to try to explain why. I see things as having a purpose as something deeply allied with optimism and the belief that things do not have a purpose is something allied with pessimism. By pessimism I mean to express not the simple negativity of a critic, but true pessimism, the kind that leads to despair and a death of joy. On the other hand, optimism to me is not a blithe positive outlook but is an informed positive outlook, one that possesses hope and joy. A lack of such optimism in life is to take a path downwards to death's door, completely. Therefore, I cannot even entertain the true pessimistic path to despair with regard to meaning in life.

If I can live for the enrichment of a single person's life, I would do it.

I apologize. The above is what happens when I sit at a desk for nearly eight hours three days in a row with next to nothing to do and nobody to really engage in conversation. That freedom feeling has changed now that I know how to use the internet at work. I get more stuff done now... just not personal stuff.

Results...

Okay, ever since finding this Chinese Dance Machine song on Newgrounds, I keep wanting to listen to it. (Thanks F-777 for making it!!!)

In fact, Tuesday while I was recovering from my trip to and from Shizuoka, I listened to it over and over for about an hour. Keep in mind it is a 1min 18seconds song and that will seem that much more insane. If you're wondering, I could get away with that because I didn't have any classes on Tuesday even though I was at school. It's midterms.

Anyway, here's the link to the video that is a product of wallbase.net space photos, windows movie maker for windows 7 (it is the lamest version yet), and Chinese Dance Machine. Yes, the quality dropped a little, for that I am sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGHgcsk-V-s

Shizuoka Sudden Visit Day 3

Mostly chilled with Kathy and Nick today. We ate together at Micky D's and then Nick and I hoofed (meaning: “we went”) it to Yamada Denki and Kanteidan. Man, I wish there was a Kanteidan in Hiroshima. There is a Yamada denki, but there isn't a Kanteidan. Kanteidan, for those of you who don't know, is basically a Sol's Jewelry and Loan but designed for gamers. They have a large selection of video games, movies, music, manga, cards, figurines, and some other stuff. Besides, our fairly geeky chit-chatting about video games and related paraphernalia, we ate at Matsuya. Then right after we got our food, we got word from Kathy to meet up with her. After scarfing our food quickly, we met up with Kathy.

We ran into Kathy at the Train station, and while we were catching up with here, Erin and Catriona (sp?) found us. Together we went back to get my stuff. Meanwhile, we retrieved the new french guy in Shizuoka... (sorry, I can't remember his name... he's fairly soft spoken right now because he has little ability in either English or Japanese.) Somewhere along their walk home, Kathy and co did Purikura. Meanwhile Nick discovered the electronic dictionary that he had purchased was missing the main part: the denshi jisho. While he was going to get that fixed I waited for Kathy and crew to show up.

After some logistical finagling, we all met up at the Eki and chose to eat at Hanamaru Udon. It is to the South of the Train station and really cheap. I think that most of us had Kitsune Udon, I'm not sure how many of us, but I can tell you it was good. Kitsune udon, for those of you who don't know, is udon with tofu that has been seasoned and lightly fried. It offsets the subtle flavor of udon nicely.

After eating, we returned to the Eki where Kumiko and Misato showed up to see me off. Saying my farewells, we did the whole repetitive stop and wave type of farewell. Not a couple minutes later, I boarded my train and headed for a layover in Nagoya.

Currently, going from the Mark Twain quote of earlier, I have no regrets. I thank you all for a wonderful time. I will be back, but I'm not sure again when exactly. Please come visit me! That's all.


Side Story: Somewhere in all of this, I had to determine my reserved seat for the Shinkansen. While I was in line, I saw two things. The first was a boy wearing a really cool shirt. It looked a little like a baseball shirt, but the writing was Stich Experiment 626, and the front was cool. I startled him by asking him where he bought it. Apparently, you can find cool Stitch shirts in Shimomura in Shizuoka. The second thing I saw was a little girl with a clip in her hair that read I ♥ CL. Yes, I think her mom is a fan of 2NE1. What do you think?

Souvenir Listing
S1: I bought a stitch phone strap thing. He is chewing on a mini Mt. Fuji.

S2: I bought Abekawa mochi for my office. Omiyage!

S3: I bought all 18 volumes of X. Yes, Manga. Yes, only 1000 en (aka 10 dollars). The set was specially made for me by the girl who is in charge of the manga section at Kanteidan. Heh, I love using Japanese to communicate but was still really surprised at her response when she started making a set. Before that, I could only find sets that had volumes 1-8 or 1-10, and I was really hoping to purchase all 18 of them. Ongaeshi shitai... >_<

S4: 100en Umbrella, and I've nearly lost it three times already.

S5: Purikura taken with Kathy, Nick, Kazu and Kumi.

S6: Stickers for my students purchased at Village Vanguard: Three leaf clover sheet, pigs with flags sheet, and a butterflies sheet.

Approximate writing time for these blog entries: two hours.
I hate spell check. It has no clue what do with all of my Japanese words.... it wants to change Manga to Mange? Seriously? Can you imagine the sentence, I bought X mange?.. .. sickening.

Shizuoka Sudden Visit (Day 2 Morning Mass)

I sure hope I can recount all of this days events properly. Suffice to say, a lot happened.. .

Don't worry though, I can't just leave it at that, because that would be a cop out.

I got up at an ungodly hour on this Godly day of rest and set out to determine Mass times. Okay, so I suppose 8:30 isn't really all that ungodly, but it sure felt like it. At least, the weather had cleared up and the day looked to become very nice. It was sunny, but not too hot and the humidity hadn't kicked in yet. Thankfully, it wasn't cold.

First, I walked to the northern end of Sunpu's first inner moat ring where I remembered there was a catholic church. (Really should have taken a picture of it too, but I forgot. I think I took a picture of it years ago.). Reading the signs, I determined Mass there was at 10:30am. Rather than wait around for nearly an hour and a half, I decided to go check out the other church in Yahata, the one I used to go to every week. For some reason, I was pretty sure I'd show up and Mass would be nearly over.

Forty five minutes of walking later, I made it to the other church. I discovered their Mass started at nine, so I was like, “well, at least I can get back to the other church in time.” So, after stopping into the church just enough to take some pictures, I made my way back. I wasn't disappointed. The most important thing for me though was how much of Shizuoka I got to see by walking there. I'm amazed at how little has changed, but at the same time, how much has either slightly improved or shut down. For example, Shin-shizuoka center is under construction again, Sunpu koen is under construction, and the Sally Breast building had two very cleared out floors above the main one.

On the walk back to the other church, I realized how hungry I was. I foolishly hadn't eaten anything yet so I stopped at a Circle K to get something. The juice and bread thing that I bought acted as my breakfast. It was really stupid of me to wait that long for breakfast and walk so much, because it felt like my stomach went into shock. I decided I would get something more after Mass.

Mass, by the way, at this church was something I hadn't experienced before. They have a younger grouping and some of them were Philippine. That atmosphere reminded me of the Church I go to Hiroshima. Furthermore, the priest is still a little new to Japanese it seemed, and the gospel reading was repeated in English. Besides the usual trying to keep up with the whirlwind of Japanese around me, Mass was pretty interesting for me because I quickly caught on that the guy next to me was a neophyte (ie. He soon would be becoming a Catholic).

After Mass, I talked with him for a bit. The guy's name was Akiyama. We mostly talked about the way the Catholic Church has so much formality for entering the church. He originally thought that was a hindrance because it sounded like he would just rather join now, asap. However, he seems to have come to understand the reason for this waiting period of time. It sounds like he will join the church next spring. I wished him luck and said that if I was ever back at this church in Shizuoka, I'd look for him.

Upon leaving the church, I realized that my umbrella was missing. After thinking it over for a second, I realized I must have left it at Circle K. I didn't have it with me at church. I figured that I would know at least that much because it is always annoying to figure out where to set it. So, I went back to Circle K and bought Onigiri and on the way out casually picked up my umbrella that I had left there a couple hours before. After that, I wandered down that one main street that I never seem be able to remember the name. Anyway, I peered in a lot of shops and was a little disappointed to notice that the Mister Donuts on the corner was being changed into something else.

Shizuoka Sudden Visit (Day 2 Afternoon)

After my short walk down the road, I went to Shizuoka's Shiyakusho. There I wandered a little into the machi while waiting to meet up with Kazu, Kathy, and Nick. Of course, I made sure to stay near where we were meeting. Together, we looked at comics, looked the green recycling booths (think of something like 4-H), bought oden etc. The highlight of the afternoon for me was probably the Shizu-oden-man that I had. It was basically shoumai (or nikuman) with Oden inside it instead of the usual stuff. It was yummys. The highlight for Kathy was getting to make a little cutesy parfait phone strap thing. It looked like a lot of fun, and some of the little kids that were also making things were really good at it. I was surprised to note that the desert strap things looked more like something you would find in a store than find made by a child.

From there, we met up with Aoi after a short side trip into Village Vanguard in Parco. VV is basically a Spencer's Gifts gone Japan style. I bought stickers for my students and a A&W root beer for me. Once we met up with Aoi, we all went to Saizeriya and enjoyed the drink bar service while chatting for a while. I think I had Hamburg. Nick and Kazu had something that I cannot remember the name of it, but it was basically a pseudo-Italian dish with rice. It looked really good and apparently is considered the most popular item at Saizeriya. The funny thing about chatting, is that it is really fun, but there is nothing really to report that we “did.” Sorry. It was a blast though! Melon Soda rocks!

After Aoi went and headed home, Kazu took us to eat Udon. Sorry Kazu, I forgot the name of the place, but it was really good. I learned that Kama-age udon is udon that is still is sitting in the liquid in which it was cooked. I also think the tempura that I had there was really good. BTW, have you noticed that we seemed to spend the entire day eating? No complaints there. To borrow Kazu's words “it was a food tour of Shizuoka!”

Having insufficiently killed time by eating, we went to Sega World and chilled there for a long time. Kaze played his Tennis Game. Nick and I played Resident Evil Ex. Kazu and Nick played some shooting game “River something.” Eventually, we all did Purikura. Then Nick, Kazu and I beat it out on that one game... darn, sorry I don't remember the name, but it involved a lot of mini games and a lot of slapping three different colored round buttons. The funniest sight of the day was seeing a couple high school girls playing House of the Dead 2 (was it 2, or was it 4?).

Eventually, we met up with the larger Omaha group: Andy, Tom, Aya, Dai (I went and grabbed him from the station), Kumiko (she met up with us at the udon place), Takuma, Tomohide, and Misato. Did I miss anyone? Oh yeah, Brent was there too. We met up at Karaoke. Nothing much to report there, it was karaoke and it was fun!

The last event of the evening was basic hanging and chatting. Some of the group played ping pong though I guess. We even got some of the new Germans to join us and shoot the breeze. It was like some big International party for a short while there. People kept coming and going so much, I'm not sure if I got to chat sufficiently with anyone, but the experience definitely has made me want to head back to Shizuoka sometime soon.

Shizuoka Sudden Visit (Day 1)

Well, according to Mark Twain, “In twenty years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn't do than by what you did.” I take this to mean that one should be proactive and choose wholeheartedly what it is they will or will not do. This in fact probably just a quirk of my interpretation, but my impression of Mark Twain is set. From what I know of him, this quote has little anything to do with jumping out and doing crazy things, but rather points toward doing the things of significance.

I wish I was usually better at doing things of significance. This past weekend though, I think I succeeded quite well. On a whim, I decided to travel to Shizuoka with a friend of mine named Kishi. I learned he was traveling there before I met him for lunch. As my parents know, I seriously toyed with taking this three-day weekend and spending it in Shizuoka, but at that time, I had firmly decided against entertaining that notion. I purported that the lack of warning for my friends would be too much of a nuisance, and that the cost would be too much. However, two factors altered my thinking. I learned that Brent was going to be in Shizuoka (he lives in Iwate so it's not like I'll get to meet him often), and I also discovered that this was the last three day weekend for this year.

So, the story goes that I met with Kishi at the train station. We went to get a bite to eat. While chit-chatting about how long it has been (three years+!!!), we got to talking about Shizuoka and Omaha. The more we talked about it the more I got wrapped up in the idea. It would be great to get to catch up with Kishi on the long ride out. I decided “aww heck with it, I'll go too.” I informed Kishi that I would join him. After rushing back to my apartment, grabbing some clothes etc, and buying a shinkansen ticket, we left for Shizuoka together. Yes, within about 2 hours of my decision, I was on my way to Shizuoka and trying frantically to let everyone know I was coming. That was nearly a failure because none of them had any warning, and I still feel bad for those I was unsuccessful at contacting this time around.

We arrived in Shizuoka around 7pm and the weather was draining water onto the ground like a sieve. In this full out downpour, thankfully Mina gave us a ride to meet some friends. We ate at a Curry place nearby the Kaikan that I missed dearly. The guy there was always really friendly, and it was great to make it back there to enjoy his curry. I had omori! (Large size)

Then the fun began. I ran off to Sunpu Koen to meet up with Kazu to help him get to where we were. It took a little bit but eventually I found him. Then while we were on our way, Kumi needed help, so he went on bike to find her while I went back to the Kaikan. Eventually, we all made it back and hung out while chatting and drinking juice, tea and such. Nick and Kazu whipped out Resident Evil 5 and started playing. Then seemingly before we knew it was one in the morning!!! We all headed off and crashed shortly thereafter, but the weather outside was still wearily unloading buckets on Shizuoka.

Rosario Epitaph

This is a fragment from TRUE, a story at which I am dabbling. It is mostly a prosaic mess of noble imagery, stoic characters, and a writer at a loss for the right words, but the intent is that in attempting to read it that the reader will be overwhelmed by the power behind every single sentence. Needless to say, it is progressing very slowly.

Your Story is there. Your power is there. Stand up to fight, draw your sword and strike down your enemies, that in knowing the taste of your steel, they will learn that they will never taste the iron of your blood. ~ Rosario Epitaph.

あなたの話はそこから。　力はそこである。　戦うために立つ。　刀を抜いてそして敵を切り倒せ。　敵にあなたの血液の鉄をけっして味わわない事を理解させる為に敵にあなたの剣の鋼を味わえ。～　ロザリオ墓碑銘

Let me know what you think and if the Japanese can be improved.

Blame it on the Music

Actually... These are what I get for listening to music... songs seem to serve as positive inspiration, but not necessarily positive results. At least no such results are coming by my own hands, anyway. I think. I'm just not sure what it is that makes “poetry” poetry at the moment. I just try and write something to capture and convey a momentary glimpse of something powerful in image and spirit.

Danger by Moonlight
Retreating Fleece
A scream in the dark
When the hounds fall
No one will know at all.

Accursed Lone Wolf
A shard of light.
A glimpse left out.
The Midnight Runner
Hero or Villain?

Iridescence
A well of great depth
Light full of fearsome power
One falling droplet

The Mechanization
A voice of molasses
Two legs of balsa
Three eyes of crystal
Four teeth of steel.
A fifth of pure water
Six fingers on fire
Seven is heaven's grace
Eight directions are blocked
Nine..... nein escape.

The last one is mainly inspired by listening to The Protomen too much. Don't ask how I leapt from a Theatre version of Mega Man to a mechanization of pure evil though unless you really don't get it. I especially like “Here comes the Arm,” “Light up the Night,” “Vengeance,” and “The Stand (Man or Machine).”

None of these poems are really all that good, but I thought I'd post them anyway.

The rush to the Train

Man, I'm tired. I'm wondering even what it is that I should be writing about at this time.

I tried to teach a couple of my students the word DEFENESTRATE (SP?) but I ran into a problem. The word is not in their dictionaries. Heck, it isn't even in my electronic dictionary. I felt like I had entered an twilight zone entitled “the vocabulary blackhole.” Then I got over it, and explained the word three different ways. They got it, but I don't think they'll remember... Although, I did leave it written on the back wall's blackboard. They never seem to erase stuff on it. Hehehe.

Is this my all? Did I go and surpass my limit? Or did I run headlong into it? I just got on the train about eight minutes ago. I realized the train was about to leave about 3-4 minutes before it was scheduled to leave. Regrettably I was all the way up the hill at school. I had become distracted in assisting the students. I like to think I'm a very active teacher. I hang out in the library when not in class and chat with the students after school. Today, they were working on preparations for their Sports festival. I was helping them create a wire basket so they could complete their Mikoshi. They needed a basket for the center of the mikoshi to hold a giant paper crane.

Explanation:
A mikoshi is a kind of thing that is hoisted on the shoulders of people in a parade. It's kind of a portable parade float... except Mikoshi are usually associated with shrines. In other words, it kind of has a cultural religious significance for people here in Japan. Either that, or it is just part of their perception of what a parade involves. Which brings me to my other question: Is it somehow wrong (on a catholic religious level) for me to assist the students in completing a mikoshi that will be used to parade around a giant paper crane covered in tin foil? I honestly don't think so, because I really don't think making a parade float is anything intrinsically wrong. If, however, I misunderstood the significance of the tin foil crane.... meh.

Now, I fear I must return to my previous topic. I realized I only had a little over three minutes left to get to the station right about the time we had completed the basket and were trying to figure out ways to reinforce the basic frame. Jumping up (okay, not that dramatically, but definitely sudden for the situation), I grabbed my bag and said farewell. That was after I asked the name of one of the students. I think I already forgot it, but I can't undo that mistake now. Oops. They said something about, “Will he make it” and “What does he intend to do, run?” as I went out the door.

Yep, they got that right. I ran. I ran so far away. I just raaaaan.... not a flock of seagulls. Bad timing I suppose, but yes, I did indeed run. Straight downhill, through puddles of water, and past a whole bunch of stopped cars that were waiting for the train to go. Yes, they already had the crosswalk down when I ran past that area to the station. I must have looked funny to everyone else. Strange Gaijin-san running full speed through the streets after a heavy downpour. Pausing as I ran along only long enough to pull a 1000en satsu (bill) out of my wallet, I rushed straight into the station and practically ran into the eki ticket machine.

Some baa-chan (older lady) who no doubt had finally just made her way into the station after getting off the train, said “Mada maniau yo, maniaimasu yo.” (You can still make it, you'll make it) Encouraged, I gather up my change and my ticket and went over to the window. Usually, the guy there stamps my ticket for me, but today he just held out his hand in the direction of the train and said quickly “Daijoubudesu. Nottekudasai.” Without hesitating, then I literally ran right past him and onto the train. I paused long enough for a little apologetic bow to the train engineer standing there.

Somehow I made it. My chest heaving. My muscles feeling afresh. I saw a couple of my students who had seen my headlong rush just kind of staring at me with bug eyes and smiles. I walked in and sat down trying to grasp at breath. Before fully recovering and whipping out my computer, I noticed that the guy next to me was playing Pokemon and that the students (not from my school) across from me were staring. I felt, in a word: alive. Then I wrote this.

Wordsmith

Forgive the bad poetry:

I sit at my furnace.
The heat is nearly unbearable.
I go about my craft with a relish.
Drawing up, I strike down hard.

My office chair squeaks against my steel-toe boots.
My anvil before me is a wall of white.
My hammer is leaking ink on my palm
My mind images the finished form.

First, one part forms up.
It is bumpy at best but still red-hot.
I strike afresh and new
The words realign a little better now.

Dipping it down in the cold water.
The sizzling saves my progress.
Left to Right and Top to Bottom
A coherent shape is slowly hardening.

Loading up my work yet again.
I mindfully work the bellows.
Sweat beads around my forehead
Sparks fly alongside aberrant adjectives.

The flames temper my steel.
My will resolves in character.
My character evolves in plots.
Editing its shape has no end.

Day in, I toil at my fire.
Day out, I check the piece.
The mettle is at its peak.
The final test is near.

My task is never at an end
Between fire and imagination
And steel and paper
I am the wordsmith at work

Schools Stuffs

It looks like I will be going to two Sports festivals in the next week or so. ^_^

Oh, and I regrettably can't tell you what schools either. The place where I am mainly based informed me (in a general information session, don't worry I'm not in trouble) that I am not supposed to talk about school outside of school. Jeez, you'd think I'd joined fight club or something. Anyway, I'm not actually clear on what they were trying to communicate because the words they were saying didn't quite jive with the Japanese writing before me. Basically, the Japanese was saying that outside of school, I am not allowed to complain, talk about specific students, or spread evil rumors about the schools where I am working.

However, what it seemed like they were saying was more general. I was being told all this in a mixture of English and Japanese because they were trying to be accommadating. What it sounded like they were saying in English was that I was not allowed to say anything period about the inner workings of school, the people there, or anything. Anyway, because the Japanese writing just reffered to negatives, I am just going to play around the edge between the two, I guess. Meaning I am going to use the contractural writing as a line in the sand never to cross.

So, as far as talking about class or school, well, I guess I just have to be really really vague, and only report the positive? Meh, I think I can do that. As soon as something more interesting than, “oh this one girl in class said that I was lazy and that she was crazy. Then she decided I was crazy too.” Or “This guy in class has decided that I think he's the best student in class because I keep asking him to answer questions.” I don't know, they seem only slightly better material than was is usually spewed in tweets.

That's about enough rambling today.

Writing Ramblings on Tolkien

Really, of late. I've begun to wonder if that really is it. Wait, I suppose I should clarify. I have a dilemma that has been rattling around in my skull for some time now. The situation, or dilemma if you prefer the parallel structuring, is that there are tons and tons of literature that comes out each year, and most of that literature is of the fantasy, science fiction, and fiction type genres. This bothers me because those are exactly the genres in which I would like to finish something. So, I wonder how it is possible that these people who churn out a book nearly every year can possibly be putting out anything good? Or is that perhaps not the right question, but should I be more concerned with personal amounts of time spent on a book versus the proximal area of time?

The dilemma, in short, is exactly what does it take to make good literature, good literature? I don't want to write just for sales, neither though do I want something I've written to never enter the public square. Essentially, I question the validity of the living democracy's favorite picks for each year. After all, the nature of democracy is towards the hedonistic, so initially in theory at least, looking at their picks would at least reveal what is enjoyable, right? Where then does one draw the line between a good book and cheap thrill? After all, I guarantee you that if you had one hundred people try meth for a day, they would tell you that they love it and it was the best thing since sliced bread. However, the masses inclination towards something doesn't make it 'good'.

The dilemma being, of course, and at the risk of sounding redundant, what is 'good' literature? Following this path of logic further, I have determined that I must find examples of good literature and go from there. Of course, this decision in itself has it's own set of dilemmas pre-installed, but I can deal with most of those later. However, the dilemma in finding good literature becomes the major problem. In order to prevent further lock down in my progress, I have theorized that I must rely on friends, family, and other like-minded people as resources in this matter. As a matter of fact, I must let the thread unravel in due time and not press for an instantaneous answer.

In thinking about literature that I already hold in high esteem, one such book(?) immediately comes to mind: The Lord of the Rings. I have, of course, on many occasions tried to define what it is that makes Lord of the Rings so epic. There are the obvious things such as “Elvish Poetry,” “Detailed Density,” and “the realness of the characters.” However, that doesn't even begin to enter into a description of the writing style employed by Tolkien which can only be described as of the “high heraldic” variety. Therein a new dilemma arises, correct?

Does his “high heraldic” writing style belong only in pseudo-medieval type stories? Before this question can be answered though, the first issue becomes what exactly it is that makes something “high” or “heraldic”? Essentially, the dilemma becomes yet again defining something. Furthermore, I know it is something that I cannot do simply come up with on the fly. However, I will attempt to make a basic outline now.

I believe, first of all, that “High” refers at least partially to the intellectual level involved. “Heraldic,” on the other hand, must be connected with the “Epic-ness” of the matter involved. Therefore, the combination of the two, ie. The High Heraldic, points to a style that is justifiably complicated but at the same time potent with imagery, deeply solemn, and able to tug at one's heart strings. This style has to pervade the adjectives, the characters involved, and the story-based situations. Perhaps, If I were to try and define it in another way, I would say that “High Heraldic” draws on something very core to our being, perhaps because it resonates with truth, and has the ability to break one's heart through minor, yet epic, intricacies. Above all, perhaps this is no longer contained in the matter of defining the “high heraldic” but nonetheless, the book that employ's “high heraldic” must have replay value. When you read it a second time, it should feel like you are gaining a deeper knowledge not doing a robotic replay.

P.S. Perhaps, I am indeed a madman. I mean this is the Chestertonian sense because perhaps I rely on logic too much. Or do I really not only rely on logic? I leave you with that.

Fringe Write up

Monday

Bad news. I was really enjoying Fringe whilst it was fresh and new. I must be on episode eight now, or was it nine? Anyway... there's a pattern. In a kid's show like Phineas and Ferb, pattern's and repetitions in episodes comes across as cute and funny. In fact, they are rather expected. However, the pattern is something I am finding annoying. Actually, that's not quite right. CSI had a very repetetive pattern that actually made it very intriquing. I'm not sure how to explain how the Fringe's pattern is annoying.

Let me start over. SPOILER ALERT
If you are in anyway interested in watching the series, DO NOT read the following.

Every episode starts off with some weird event. A typically twisted, medically gross, and barely within the realm of the scientifically rational type of event. For example in the first episode, a plane full of people get attacked by a gas that literally strips them all the to bone.

Then, in every episode there is someone that potentially knows something. Our heroine, Duhham, then spends the rest of the episode trying to get an audience. It's always someone with whom she needs to talk.

Also, as a side piece of every episode, the old man Bishop needs some sort of random food thing to babble on about. One episode it's root beer, another it's christmas carols etc. Each time, it's something that is mildly related to the main episode thread.

Finally, the good (and very crazy) doctor and his son always work together with on some sort of crazy pseudo-science to save the day. The concepts are great, but does the crazy doctor Bishop really already have to know either the test subject, the evil scientist, or the Fringe science concept? I'd like something to seem like he didn't already know it.

Things could change with time, but eps 3-8 were way too similar. Episode 9 at least mentions Omaha, NE, so it gets brownie points. Actually, all in all, episode 9 felt fresh. Hard to explain why. Episodes ten and eleven tried a little harder to elaborate on some more things, so I actually enjoyed them. However, either I had mostly missed it until now or it really hadn't happened before, but the doctor did some overly crass descriptions this time around.

The things that I look forward to in each episode are things like more information on Massive Dynamic, better information on the Pattern, the newest concept for the episode, and most especially the progression of Dunham's relationship to her coworkers and her boss. Honestly, the tit for tat between her and her boss every episode is excellent. It even progresses and changes delightfully. Second of all, is her old (current) flame still alive after all that, is he really dead, or is did she really absorb a section of his subconscious.

There, now that I've given away nearly the entire framework for the series, enjoy!

P.S. The series would be insanely awesome if you only saw things from the limited perspective of Dunham. Then you wouldn't encounter things like Scott being keep in a pseudo-alive state so that his memories could be harvested. It would add the proper amount of mystery to whether Dunham really has his memories in her head or if she was really encountering him. They allowed the solution to come clear way too soon.

Saturday and Sunday, last week

Last Saturday. 11th

Laundry done. (Really, as if you cared.)

Shower head fixed. (It's black now!!)

Bicycle fixed. I started by going to a shop nearby my place, but the lady there told me that the mechanic (I presume her husband) wouldn't be back for a week or more. After some questioning, she helped direct me towards a place down the street. Going there I ended up chatting with another customer who was getting his bicycle fixed. After his got fixed, I ended up chatting with the lady who was working the office. Maybe, I'll run into the guy who I chatted with again. He was pretty cool, but definitely stressed by life.

Last Sunday. 12th

I bicycled way too much today. Way, way too much today. I hope I won't be as tired tomorrow as I think I will be. I bicycled into town to the Cathedral again. Then after coming home and eating, I bicyled to Diamond City (aka Soleil). I realized upon entering the place that I was there once. “Mario Desserts” was the place name that triggered my memory. I only remember going somwhere in the building for okonomiyaki and then later for desert. I am completely amazed at how large the place is. Three floors of shops and one tiny section of the fourth floor with a movie theatre.

Random thought of the day. If the power goes out in a building and I am the only one in it to my knowledge, the last thing I will do is get out a flashlight and wander around. I will wear as dark a clothes as possible and sneak around without the light. If someone has intentionally killed the power to do something in the building, I don't want to be a walking target. Besides my eyes can adjust to the lack of light.

More Current Week stuff

Let see. How has my week gone. First off, it was good!

I'm watching Fringe now in my apartment because it is raining outside. I was going to rent something today anyway, and this series looked interesting to me. I know, I know. I probably should have rented something that was uniquely Japanese, but I couldn't decide. To be excessively honest, I really want to see Scott Pilgrim again. However, it doesn't seem to have made it to Japan yet. I even went down to Diamond City (A gigantic mall that takes me about 15-20 minutes to get to by bicycle) and checked out their movie theatre. Besides that something-something Arietty, there wasn't a movie that I might want to see. I was a little dissappointed.

Oh, where was I? I meant to talk a little bit about Fringe. Simply wow. From a science fiction geek perspective, this is a must-see series. My best description is this: Take the series NUMB3RS switch all the mathmatics into pseudo science (or 'Fringe' science, to keep in step with the series), then tack on some fast-paced spy-based intrique, and add in a cranky old genius, that is the proper recipe for Fringe. Watching the series kind of makes me feel like I'm watching the makings of a modern Jules Verne. The imaginative genius behind of all the future sciences and weapons rivals even that of Eureka's mad happenings or perhaps it surpasses them.

Of course, this is only my assessment at this point. I am only on the fourth episode right now. Oh, that's right, I failed to mention that I rented the first half of the first season. Hehehe. It seemed more cost-effective to rent the first eleven episodes in their 750en pack than to rent the six cds separately for a total of about 2400 yen or so. The end result is that I have seven days to get through about 550 minutes of TV series stuff. The problem is the lack of a place to sit and watch in my room.

I have this fold up lawn chair type deal that I am using as a chair. Imagine that, I am using a chair as a chair. Idiosyncricies aside, I pulled one of the suitcases out of my closet to act as a desk. I rather like the setup, but I suppose if I had to come up with a complaint, the chair is a little too tall for the lower level of the desk.

Well, I guess I am tired enough to talk about the most inane of things right now, therefore I am ending my movie seqway.

Lame late information LAST WEEK

Umm, adventures from this week? I wonder if I had any ones that are noteworthy. Okay, so I know that things did happen, so for now I'll just start writing and see what comes to mind.

I really enjoyed Wednesday because I sat in the Library and read (yes, I know) out of the 四字熟語 dictionary. (For those of you who don't know, they are words/phrases in Japanese that are comprised of four Kanji that are packed with meaning.) I found some really good ones, but by the time I was done my head was really starting to hurt. It felt like I actually was given a chance to think since I came here.

I've started my application to take the N1 this december. I had nearly forgotten the thing existed, and then I found an application pack in the bookstore. I could barely believe that I had forgotten about it. So, I bought the application pack and a book to study for the JLPT. I think if I can actually pass the highest JLPT test this time, I'll start focusing more on the Kanji Kentei which is the major kanji test. Anyway, I suppose that is enough about studying for now.

My shower head is totally broken. I mean, it is broken so badly that I'm having someone come and fix it saturday.

Ramune flavored Taiyaki. Yeah, trust me I reacted the same way. What???? Anyway, it is actually really good, so I recommend it it you get the chance. It is kind of like Taiyaki, but the flavor is a lot lighter and therefore more

School? Umm, you really don't care trust me. All I've been doing still is introductions.

Sat and Sun, my fun?

Saturday

Well, to be honest, this was probably one of the more pathetic weekends. I spent Saturday almost entirely at home in my apartment fussing about and playing video games/reading. Actually, I spent most of the afternoon hiding from the sun and trying to understand my laundry machine. I banned myself from leaving the apartment until I had done my laundry. This presented a problem because I didn’t want to do my laundry, and I really wasn’t sure how to use the new Japanese laundry machine I had.

The story there begins around noonish when I set about making sure my laundry was sorted into Darks and Lights. I decided to start with the lights because they were mostly T-shirts and, such so if something went wrong, I could replace them. Well, nothing went wrong, but to honest I’m not sure when I am supposed to put the detergent into the washer. So, after learning that I had to click the “power” button in order to just start the machine, I just poured some detergent into the washer. Then I adjusted the water level and clicked start. However, I must have clicked it twice because nothing happened with the washer for over an hour. Apparently, if I click the button once, that results in “start” but if I click it a second time, that temporarily pauses the thing until I un-click it.

The next problem to occur was the stupid thing kept beeping every 20 or so minutes, but it wasn’t done. It was still half full of water. I couldn’t figure it out. So, I think my whites got washed two or three times in that water. Eventually, let’s say around three or so, I realized the drain hose was attached to the side of the washer and pointing straight up. No wonder it wasn’t draining. It had no way to drain. Unhooking that and pointing it towards the drain changed everything. A half-hour later, the wash was done and 50-75% dry. Then I hung it all up to dry which was the easy part of the process I think.

Since I ran out of hangers and hanging space with just my whites, I decided to wait until they were mostly dry before running the black load. Considering how hot, sunny and dry it was outside, this turned out to be ideal. By about 4:30 or so, the whites were almost completely dry, so while I folded stuff, I made the black load start. Without drawing out the details, I can safely tell you that it was somewhere around six pm before I finally left the apartment.
After going out, I accomplished two things:

Food bought from a Family Mart I found as I explored East of where I live. 5$
A external DVD drive for my laptop so that I can watch rented Japanese movies. 45$
I failed to rent a DVD though because I needed proof of address with me which I thought I didn’t have, but it turned out later when I got back to my apartment that I did have.

I am pleased to point out that the DVD rental place that I found, had both Burn Notice and the A-team TV series. Not that I plan on renting either, but that it is good to know Japanese people can experience both.

Sunday

I woke up stuck in a dream in which I was writing a story in Japanese. I have now begun writing it in English. Again, like all the stories I’ve started, I may never finish it, but I’ll try.

So, the main adventure for Sunday amounts to three things:

1. Mass in English?

The cathedral offers Mass in English… something I plan to never participate in again. First of all, I could understand more of the mass when it was in Japanese than at that English Mass. Why? The easy answer is that the Mass was not in English. It was in a mixture of Tagalog, Spanish, English and a touch of Japanese. The priest was awesome because he could obviously speak all four, but to be honest, I was weirded out by how hippi-ish the Mass was. It had acoustic Guitar music, a philipino translation of the readings into English (which honestly had strange English), and lots of random interjections by the priest in some other language. Besides, I couldn’t understand why, but the ones who I would consider the Tagalog speakers in room would chatter amongst themselves all the way through the Mass. It was really pathetic and distracting. I think I have experience culture shock in the form of Japanese culture suddenly feeling normal.

2. Hondori

Really nothing much to report on hondori, except to say that I don’t think it has changed a bit. At the same time, it has dramatically changed. I was pleased to note that he arcade has about four shooting games that I didn’t recognize including a Silent Hill rehash, and I also noticed that the card-based games in the arcade are all unfamiliar as well.

3. Fukuya

This is where I am as I write this now. Wow, I am amazed at how large this place is, but I am ecstatic to note that I have finally found a good grocery store. Furthermore, it is right where I have to pass by to get to and from work. Also, I found JLPT N1 sign up information as well as study books. I, of course bought one of each, but thus far have gained a policy with games and books.
1 study book: when completed may get another
1 video game each for PSP and DS: when completed may get another
1 reading book: when completed may get another.
These are respectfully: N1 study book, Jeanne D’arc for PSP, still nothing for DS, and Natsu by Mori Hiroshi. We’ll see how long my policy lasts eh?

Tri-school Area

Thus far, an assessment as such:

Wednesday at White Tree High School

This school is, first of all, the farthest from where I live. I’m serious, we’re looking at about 1 hour and fifteen minutes one way and that is on the conservative side of guesstimating. However, having survived the first day getting there and back, I am now confident that I won’t get lost.

So, I walk to Hiroshima station at an ungodly hour of the morning and board a train to some obscure section north of Hiroshima. The train at the last three stops suddenly fills with lots of students, and I figure that if I were to follow them when the train stops that I will probably properly approach White Tree High School. I am, of course, mistaken. I accidentally followed the junior high school students instead of the High School ones. Thankfully there was an ALT with the junior high students who asked me, “Oh, are you a new ALT here to help with the Junior high students?”

“Oops, I must be following the wrong group then. I’m supposed to be going to the High School.”

Then a small communication fiasco ensued as the other ALT used his little Japanese, and I acted like I didn’t know any. I was luckily in time though to catch back up with the high school students. Hmm, I think I caught two of them smoking, but they ducked around a corner and greeted me? They must have been feeling sheepish because they actually engaged me in conversation.

The rest of the day went rather well, I think. The school only has me helping with three classes and all I had to do was self-introduction practice as well as my own personal introduction of myself, family, and hometown. I used a lot of pictures taken from the last week when I was in America.

The part of the day that was the most fun was when I was hanging out in the cool, air conditioned library and incidentally startled a couple of the students when they came in to do their daily amount of cleaning. I only spoke to them in English, and they kind of kept panicking. I do think though that it helped them up their capability with the basics.

That wasn’t the funny part though. Later, one of the students returned because she had homework the school was requiring her to work on after school. One of the teachers came in and oblivious to the presence of the student, engaged me in Japanese. Trying not to be rude, I responded and went along with the conversation. The student’s eyes bugged out and stared at us. I just casually walked past and smiling said… “bareta.” Bareta, basically, means “oops, I was found out.” To make a long story short, with the help of the teacher covering for me, I asked the student to keep it a secret. Of course, we didn’t have that conversation with her, until she quit busting a gut. She was laughing really hard.

Thursday at Great Light -East High School

Okay, so first of all that translation of the school name is just weird, but it should serve as a sufficient barrier for those who are trying to know too much about me without my knowledge.

This is first of all, my base school. I am at this school three days of the week, but my first day was a Thursday in the middle of the school year at the beginning of the second semester. With the help of the Audio visual office in the school, I was supplied with what essentially was a “smart cart.” I’m sorry. There really there isn’t anything major to report except some funny incidences with the students.

Questions/comments that seem to be coming mainstays for asking the new ALT are:
Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? (Yes, they’ve asked them in that order.) Your eyes blue. Your skin is very, very white. How old are you? Do you speak Japanese? What is your favorite sport? What is your favorite thing? What is your hobby? What is your favorite food (Japanese/American)? When is your Birthday?

In Japanese:
Looks like Mario/luigi. Looks like Tom Cruise. Ikemen. (handsome) Wakai. (young) kekkan sugokunai? (Veins)

Later when I was in the library though, two of the students talked with me for a long time. I was surprised at their boldness. Then my supervisor, I guess, came in to talk with me and spoke (again, yes) only in Japanese. I just responded in English because I didn’t want to have to ask a library full of students to keep it a secret. Instead my supervisor was awesome.

He told the two students that, “of course, he understands Japanese, but he probably speaks it even better than you do.”
“So, then why won’t he speak it for us?”
“He’s trying to teach you English. He’s like that”

Friday at the commercial High School

I arrived early: WAY too early. We’re talking almost two hours early. It turned out okay, but the teachers were very, very surprised. They also warmed up to me faster than the other schools, because I had to actively engage them in Japanese. One of them, Sato-san, I think, even came over to give me advice on getting a cell phone. He insisted over and over that I get a smartphone and use skype to contact friends and family. Actually, I think he partially just wanted to show off that he had one. Man, I’ll admit it. I am really tempted to get one too.

There are tons of students at this school. It looks like I don’t even visit the same classes each week for a long period of time. Many of the guys are very outspoken, even in English. I was very surprised because they were really quiet at the other schools. Since the school is known for its men’s baseball teams, the teachers are little understanding when their male baseball players are tired in class.

After school, I volunteered and helped with the ESS groups speeches. They will be giving speeches in about a month. I was actually, really amazed. Either they are just geniuses at writing or their proofreader is really, really phenomenal. Though the speeches were only one page long, they were well crafted. I’m used to turning people’s papers into a sea of red ink, even my own, but short of stylistic changes like “didn’t shed tears” to “Didn’t shed a single tear,” I couldn’t find anything to change. Their reading ability and pronunciation will come with time, but even their first time readings were pretty good. I wish them luck in trying to memorize the things.

Things that I learned:
I need to buy my own slippers for each school. Ones that fit!
I need to bring lunch to each of the schools. Preferably ones purchased before I arrive there. I especially need to bring one to White tree HS because there isn’t even a conbeni in the school

In Japan!!!

I'm in Japan! I've made it to Hiroshima! I've got an apartment! That's all!

… Psyche! After spending some time in Shinjuku, Tokyo, three of us bound for Hiroshima boarded a shinkansen in Tokyo Station. Our prefectural advisor who is living in Tokyo, Ai-san, graciously guided us from our hotel through Shinkjuku station all the way to the boarding platform for our trip to Hiroshima. Before boarding the train, of course, we bought bento's (y'know boxed lunches?), something to drink, and something on which to snack.

After chatting and calming each other's nerves for almost four hours, my two colleagues got off the train at Fukuyama. We plan to connect with eachother in Saijou sometime, and though the hope is to meet there for a Fall Festival in October, I fear that we may all be working on that day. Once I get more situated, I will be sure to contact them.

So, as I was waiting for the Shinkansen (bullet train) to start moving again, I noted that I could see them meeting their Fukuyama contact. Quickly, I whipped out my camera and captured a few shots of their first arrival at Fukuyama station. While they were no doubt going through the stress of self-introductions, I, on the other hand, had to sit on the train, alone, for about another 25 minutes dealing with the silence. I took the opportunity to listen to music on my Sony walkman and that seemed to help me remain calm.

After arriving in Hiroshima, I quickly met with Murata-san, my supervisor(?), and after some confusion, we met with two members of Hiroshima's board of education as well as Mochidzuki-san (who is not from Shizuoka btw) who is kind of responsible for me but above Murata-san. I would say that introductions went well.

My afternoon was then spent with Murata-san and a real estate agent. As was expected, they already had pretty much found the best place for me, but I did get to check out two places for comparison. My home is practically right in front of the new baseball stadium in Hiroshima. It is called Mazda Stadium and Hiroshima's Carp baseball team won their game last night by a Sayonara home run in the 12th innning. We, meaning Murata-san's family and me, all quit watching the game during the seventh inning because the Carps were losing. We regret that now, but the grocery store nearby will have a store-wide 5% discount because the Carps won.

My apartment has a dining room/kitchen and one fair sized room and runs about 400$ a month. However, I will be spending a lot of money to get things like a laundry machine, a refrigerator, a stove top thing, a futon and perhaps a desk as well. I've decided not to worry about getting a TV for now, but instead to get that later when I can afford a decent sized one. In the meantime, as soon as I am basically settled, I hope to get the internet connected because without that I won't feel connected.

It's crazy to say this, but I remember a lot of the streets, stores and such here in Hiroshima. However, there are so many places I don't know, and Mazda Stadium has made a good section of Hioshima to become more developed. Now, I am totally pysched for being here.

Flying...

I am now of the opinion that flying is much like a mental rebirth. These long flights especially have the feel what I can express as an aerial baptism. I do not mean baptism in a religious sense, of course, but more so in the sense of being brought into new life. Although, I suppose that is exactly what baptism does.

We sit in a metal tube far above the sky surrounded by silent bodies who are all content to exist in their own worlds.
We watch movies alone among many in silence.
We listen to music that no one else can hear.
We have dinner with many people, but not one dinner conversation is struck.

As our minds go numb and we pass in and out of sleep, eventually a kind of numbing ensues, and we enter a forgetful darkness brought on by the dimmed lights. Whether we chase or flee the sun outside, this spacey haze resets our minds and loads the next chapter of our lives. First we were on Disc 1 in our homeland, but after loading, I mean flying, we find ourselves in a new land that can only be found on Disc 2.
My experience of this is my current flight to Japan right now. I still don't feel like I've left, and I can't explain that feeling. I half expect to get up tomorrow and go to UNO or head in to work. I still don't know see why I wouldn't be able to see any of you like the next day if I wanted. I'm heading to a new life, but I my mind is still loading.

I am drinking my fair share of lethe's water on this flight though so maybe that is part of the problem. First, I watched A-Team which was an explosive fest of cheesiness and explosions, but I can say that the CIA agent was a work of genius. Then I watched the Prince of Persia which was actually quite better than was impressed upon me. Now, with nearly half the flight still before me and almost 5000 kilometers to go, I am staring at the screen. It reads “次回のショーが開始するまでお待ちください”or in English: Please wait until the next showing begins. I will hopefully get to watch Brooklin's Finest. Why? Because it's there.

Additionally, I have made the discovery that video games no longer entertain me like they did in the past. I whipped out my PSP while watch A-team and some of Prince of Persia in an attempt to play a bit of Jeanne du arc. I was intrigued for a while, but I know the drill. It's a tactics game with a couple little bonuses that might have enthralled me in the past, but only the are holds my attention. For some reason, the Japanese impression of Joan of Arc is a blonde girl slender in appearance with intricate armor. The interpretation, or distortion perhaps, of her image doesn't bother me, but instead I think it is quite cool. Perhaps it could be equated to the myriad of Marian variations in the world. I'll leave that door unopened for now.

However, I must return to the topic at hand. I tried to play Lock's quest on my DS but got bored of it after one in-game day. The basic game style is an obsessively involved tower defense game. Ever been to kongregate.com? Well, I've played way too many tower defense games on that website to really get intrigued by another right now.
After Lock's Quest, I put the pokemon mystery dungeon game into my DS and then turned on the DS. After staring at the main menu of the game for a minute or so, I decided not even to start playing. It looks like it will be just totally annoying. Weird isn't it?
I suppose the positive thing is that I can certainly use the Ds games as gifts because someone will no doubt enjoy them more than me.

Oh and by the way, Brooklin's Finest didn't look all that interesting so I switched to Nodame Cantible 2. Not having really followed the series that the movie is from, I am going to mostly treat it as mental Japanese preparation. Well, I'm off of this document now to write somethings that have been rattling around in my mind.

In Japan Day 3

Today is the aftermath of the first couple days. I have made it through 12 hours of flight time, perhaps 12 hours of not wanting to sleep, and at least 12 hours of orientation. Easily though, in the next twelve hours, I will know where I am going to be in Hiroshima. This makes me ecstatic and impatient. Ecstatic because I know that many of the unknowns before will start to gain outlines, but impatient because I want to hurry up and know.

So, for now, while I am stuck idling in the booming mecca of Japan, all I find that I can do is stare out the window at the sunrise that has caught Tokyo unawares. Though this city, in my case Shinjuku, has a very active night life until about midnight or beyond, the streets seem bare and cars are so scare. Nearly none dance about to greet the morning sun. And the sun which is now quite in the sky showing us practically a new day already has no one to greet it.

Why, I wonder, is Japan the place of 5-6 am sunrises, but nothing opens until 10am? If my train were not until after 10am, I would be able to get some shopping done for some electronics wares I had hoped to acquire. However, instead, I have four hours to idle in my hotel room, hit up conbeni's (convenience stores, think gas station, but no gas part), and maybe exchange money. meh, I'll contemplate these things later.

心折れた

To break one's heart...

Apparently, it doesn't take much for one's heart to break, metaphorically.
I'm not talking emotional romantic tension where your heart strings are singled out and snapped. I mean a broken heart with regard to one's hopes and dreams.

I mean it with regard to the days that make up the path of your life.

My heart simply broke when I left Japan. Now, however I find it breaking simply because I am leaving Omaha. I wish there was some way to have some sort of closure. Somehow, I want to place everyone in my pocket and carry them with me. Memories do not suffice to save me but their recall can act as a salve for my wounds or as salt to make them burn. They only accent my already held emotions.

If I dwell on it, I feel as though the task I have been given is equitable to Atlas's charge to hold the weight of the earth. He holds the physical object while I harden my sinews in a struggle against my own past memories. Faces pass by as I look on with my mind's eye, and my retinas burn.


Anyway, back to reality for a moment please? I just needed to vent someplace about the stress that I've got about going to Japan. I really want to go, but at the same time I know my strengths and weaknesses and I'm hoping that I am stronger than I think I am. In fact, I am hoping that my belief in my strength etc acts as a catalyst for me to have strength.

I just have to remember that a little nervousness helps but that a lot will kill me.
Peace. out.

I'm leaving for Japan? Since when? When did this happen...

I guess this is all like one big bout of Deja vu for me, but just like fall 2006, I now stand on the threshold of new phase. I suppose there are many preparatory things that I need to do, but I find myself distracted and apathetic at the moment. I work. I write. I eat. I play games. I go see movies. I watch TV. I buy random stuff at Wal-Mart. I dream, and because of those dreams, I'm starting to wonder if my subconscious is on to something.

I had a dream last night where my house had been converted over to a strange wooden structure that was conveniently placed on stilts over an area of marsh water. I, however, still was going about my usual things. I climbed up a braided branch rope to the second floor and checked my email. I dozed on the sofa and woke up to read the newspaper after hearing its "thud" upon the door. Then I woke up.

My mom was shaking me as I lay in my hammock bed suspended over the marsh waters. She didn't say anything to but just looked towards the front door. Beyond the odd cracks and hollowed out areas of the tree limb wall that was around our front door, I could see a huge white bus. It was perhaps a tad more streamlined than the usual bus, but that wasn't what concerned me.

A large group of people milled about the outside of the bus. I ran to and flung open the door. An official carrying a clipboard stood there and asked in an overly casual manner, "Well, ya ready?" I was very confused until I noticed the circular tag that each person had over their heart. It was a small yet semi-ornate sticker with three bold letters: JET. I asked the official, "Why are you here?"

"It's time to go to Japan, kid."

"Wait, was that today?"

"No, we bumped it up."

"Give me a second..." was all I could blurt out.

Shutting the door in his face, I froze behind the door. Now what do I do? I'm not packed... in fact I haven't even bought close that is work appropriate in Japan. I don't have gifts yet. Argggh!!! What was I going to do? I ran this way. I climbed that wall. I ripped open my dresser and flung open my closet. Seemingly at random to an outsider no doubt, I set my mind on turbo and chose things with as much precision as I could. Books, practical objects and things that I never planned to bring all were tossed down a floor into a huge cardboard box and a suitcase. Wait a second...

What was that box doing down there... ? I paused at the edge of the flat board that made the boundaries of my room.

I thought this seemed odd. I recognize that box. That is the box I'm using to hold things that I want to bring to Japan with me. At least, that is what I'm doing in real life with it. And since when did JET go with an all-white dress code... ALTs aren't even connected with anything medical.

Sitting up, I realized myself back into reality. "Wow, enough of that," I said to myself. "Stupid overactive subconscious." Muttering to myself, I rolled over, reset my alarm for twenty minutes later and went to bed again. I better get things organized now, I thought to myself as I settled back into dreamworld.

The countdown for Omaha: 17 days
The countdown for Chicago: 18 days
The countdown for Tokyo: 20 days until I arrive in Hiroshima.

I’m, the conscious me, not aware that I'm leaving, but my subconscious is working overtime trying to make sure I don’t forget anything. Regrettably, it is already stressed so my dreams are being affected.

News!

I will be returning to Japan after a nearly three year hiatus. I have been chosen to be an ALT or assistant language teacher for the JET program, and I will be in Hiroshima.

For now, this is all I will say, but look forward to random postings about events and experiences as I find time to write them.

Additionally, I have decided to pursue writing stories a bit more single-mindedly and have been away due to working on them.

Bliss

Epic quote:

"Emphatically it will not work. There are thrilling moments, doubtless, for the spectator, the amateur, and the aesthete, but there is one thrill that is known only to the soldier who fights for his own flag, to the ascetic who starves himself for his own illumination, to the lover who makes finally his own choice.　And it is this transfiguring self-discipline that makes the vow a truly sane thing."
G.K. Chesterton

強調して = emphatically
確かに　= doubtless
見物人　=　spectator
素人　=　amateur
審美眼のある人 = aesthete
ゾクゾク・わくわく　= thrill
苦行者　＝　ascetic
飢える　=　starve
明るくすること = illumination よくすることかもしれないし
姿を変える　= transfigure
自制　= self-discipline
誓い　= vow
正気　=　sane

ま、分からなかったら教えてね。　

ああ、やっぱり分かりにくかったっしょ。。。
次のは翻訳じゃないけど説明じゃないし両方だ。

最初のは皆の経験に味わいたくても出来ない。　　最高の一瞬でもある、傍観者も　アマチュアも、美眼のある人にも、　でもそういう特別な感動は人のタイプによって　その人だけが体験できる。。。兵士が自分の国旗のために戦っている体験。。。　苦行者が自分の価値を高まる為に飢えっている体験。。。恋人がやっと自分で決めた体験。　　この姿を変えている自制から誓い事を本当に正気のものにするんだ。

分かった？　　

Heroes

人間は考える葦である Man is a thinking reed.~ Pascal.
I am still not sure what exactly that means but I've noticed something lately about the austere beauty that simple expressions have.

So, the simple question is why even bring up Pascal after naming your post "Heroes"? Well, Pascal, just so you know, isn't my hero. He's cool and all, but there is someone who was influenced by Pascal that is rapidly becoming my hero. Actually, let me phrase it this way: If you were to have asked me what Japanese person, living or dead, it was that I looked up to, about three years ago, I would have probably told you Fukuzawa Yukichi.

For those of you who don't know, Fukuzawa Yukichi-san is essentially the father of the Japanese school system, but that is most certainly not what makes him cool. Having read his autobiography, I can tell you that it was something about his pursuit for knowledge and his unquenchable desire for it that caught my attention. Far more important though was how he dealt with and eventually became infatuated with the West during his studies post-Meiji.

I have recently found another figure, a certain Takashi Nagai with whom I am far more enamoured. Nagai-san was not only a doctor like Yukichi-san and therefore dealing with the wave of medical changes brought in by the west, but he had a role to play in the aftermath of the bombing of Nagasaki. It was through his experiences with the victims of that tradgedy that led him to write The Bells of Nagasaki (長崎の鐘）. Having not either read the book nor seen the movie that followed, I am quite enthralled with how he sought to bring the people of Nagasaki a sense of forgiveness.

Addendum to this post
Zombieland Rule #17. Don't Be a hero.

Of Hearts and Keys

Over time it would seem my own little obsessions with symbolism evolve and change.
自分の象徴の好みは時間と同時変わっていくんだそうだ。

When I was first studying Japanese, Kanji fascinated my mind. The more complex the better. If the Kanji was simple too, I liked it. The kanji for water even 水 still fascinates me with its simple beauty. Kanji that were semi-complex and normal were somewhat boring to me though. They were just too abstract and everbody already expected me to have to learn them.
最初の日本語を勉強して始まった時漢字は僕に悩殺された。　もっと複雑のほうはもっとよかった。　　でもその漢字は単純でも好きだった。　水は今までその漢字の単純な美しさは僕のこころを捕らえている。　　もしある漢字は普通とちょっとだけ複雑だったらあまり面白くなかったと思ってしまった。　意味は抽象的しすぎて勉強するのは当然だったしです。

黎明, imagine that. This kanji is still probably among my top. The first Kanji is an uncommon Kanji for black. That makes it special to me since my favorite color is black. These two Kanji together represent a transition from darkness to light. A movement both used to refer to incunabulum (post-enlightenment) and the simple dawn. When I came to understand this Kanji, I came to understand hope.

黎明はね、多分まだ一番好きな漢字の言葉だ。　黎はくろという意味を示している。　黒は僕の一番好きな色だからこの漢字は特別になっちゃった。　この言葉は闇から光までの意味を示している。　　夜明けという意味くらいだけど啓もう運動とも含まれた。　この漢字のために希望が納得できたと思う。

悪魔, yes, I liked these kanji. Why? Simply because no one would expect someone who could barely mumble out sentences in Japanese to be able to write this word. Ayako, thank goodness, put up with me and did some wicked awesome calligraphy that I still have in my room. The little orange poster translates to "That person (way over there) is a demon."
悪魔、はい、この漢字が好きだった。　なぜなの？　この漢字が書ける日本語を勉強しているアメリカ人は少ないからと思った。　　あやこは作ってくれた書道はこの漢字にも含まれた。　まだ部屋で貼っているけど書いてあった事は「あいつは悪魔」だ。

薔薇、yes I can write these kanji, don't ask. Unlike the Kanji, Roses are simple. They have natural beauty and much meaning. However, like a girl, handle them wrong and expect to get stung. These kanji taught me that kusakanmuri nearly always meant the Kanji was related to a plant.
薔薇、うん、書けます。　この漢字と反対だけど本当の薔薇は単純。　自然な美しさと沢山の意味がある。　でも　女のように間違えって扱ったらさされちゃう。　　薔薇の漢字に勉強させた事は漢字は草冠があったらその漢字は植物と関係がある。

堀鼠 or pocket gopher. You guys wanted to know why my facebook is a gopher on facebook? There is a long story, but basically it goes like this. I drove some friends crazy one year by using the English word "gopher" as a catchphrase. Then it just came to represent to me. To some friends, all I have to mention is "gopher," and they remember who I am. So, I just had to know how to write it in Kanji.
掘り鼠　ホリネズミ、針鼠と異なっている。　　僕のフェースブークを見たのか。　僕の写真は掘り鼠だ。　ゴーファーは僕とちょっと長い付き合いということだ。　高校の時代で友達をからかうためにゴーファーと何回も言った。　僕の象徴となってしまった。　　ある友達にはゴーファーだけを言ったら僕は誰だということを早くおもいだすんだ。　　だからゴーファーを日本語の漢字で書きたかった。

「ごめん、寝たいからここまでの日本語バージョンだけをやってきた。　後で全部やるかもしれないけどとりあえずこのままには貼る。」

Heart Strings. I made a desktop wallpaper with this subtitle in High school. It is still the backdrop for my laptop too. I've always had this image of the heart as a bundle of strings that can be stripped away and torn without permanent damage. The heart however is the most difficult thing to unravel so I treasure this image. This image is connected with two songs for me. Yuki Kajiura's Open your Heart and the Reprise. If I ever need a pick-me-up, those two songs never let me down.

Now, because of my time in Japan, two symbols come to mind.
命 and 鍵

命 was the kanji for the year I was in Japan. Of course, a certain Japanese comedian capitalized on this, but I'm not complaining. The popularity of "inochi" allowed me to get T-shirts with this kanji on it. I see life as a precious fundamental. Since my first name means guardian, I also take the defense of life as important.

鍵 or key. As long as I can remember keys always represented so much to me. They open things. In my case they also close things away into my heart and memories.

However, they are now inimately connected to my time in Japan. The last day I was in Japan, I bought myself a key on a necklace(Thanks Asami for that help!). Now, everytime I see that key, I vividly remember my last days in Japan and sometimes I nearly cry from the memories.

That necklace also gives me an area to focus my partings. I try and wear it whenever I must part with someone, even if it is for a short time. This has been important for my mental health because I'll never get used to saying farewell to all the international students I've known over the years.

月 I suppose you are wondering why anyone would like this Kanji. It's so common. However, if you've seen my notebooks over the years, you'd know why though. The kanji 命 placed over a fading gray moon is my personal symbol. The moon possesses a mystique few can understand, and is one's light in the darkness. Putting the Kanji for life in it, only emphasizes this understanding.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that. ^_^